Are your songs not connecting?

SONG 7 of the 10 Songs In 10 Weeks Challenge is gonna provide you with a lyric exercise that will make your words connect with the audience.

Today’s exercise is called…

Amplify Active Voice

This exercise is great to:

• Make your lyrics punchier and more engaging
• Give your lyrics a direct and grounded feel
• Help listeners connect more with your words

Active voice puts your sentences in the driver’s seat; they get straight to the point. To do this, you put the subjeect of your sentence in star position, doing the action.

Start Here:

Word Choice Drill

Nouns are words that name peolpe, places, things, or ideas. Examples: “Dog”, “London”, “Happiness”, “Computer”.

Verbs are actions or states of being words. They describe what someone or something does or is. Examples: “Run”, “Think”, “Is”, “Create”.

Adjectives are words that describe or modify nouns, giving more information about them. Examples: “Read” (as in “red apple”), “Fast” (as in “fast car”), and “Happy” (as in “happy child”).

Adverbs modify verbs, adjectives, or other adverbs, often describing how, when, where, or to what extent an action is performed. Examples: “Quickly” (as in “runs quickly”), “Very” (as in “very happy”), “Tomorrow” (as in “leaving tomorrow”).

• Create four scenes with actions e.g. running late for a dinner date and getting into a car crash just as you arrive.
• Choose the most tantalising scene of your four and write for 10 minutes about the actions. Only use nouns and verbs. No adjectives or adverbs.

Active Voice Conversion

In passive voice, the action is done to the subject, rather than by it. Look for the “be” verb forms (am, is, are, was, were) followed by a past participle (often ending in -ed or -en). For example, in “The cake was eaten by the child”, the cake (subject) receives the action. Passive constructions often include “by” phrases, though not always. Active voice, conversely, has the subject performing the action: “The child ate the cake”. Active voice makes your sentences clearer and more direct by showing who is doing the action.

• Read over your writing and look for any passive voice sentences and replace them with an active voice sentence.

End with Impact

• Identify the most impactful words in your sentences.
• Rearrange your sentences to end with the most impactful word.

Example: “In her eyes, storms raged” not “Storms raged in her eyes”

Zombie Noun Hunt

Zombie nouns, AKA nominalisations, are words that put people to sleep. They are nouns formed from other parts of speech, typically verbs or adjectives. They often end in suffixes like -able, -ance, -ency, -ancy, -ian, -ion, -ism, -ity, -ment, -ness, or -ing, transforming actions or qualities into abstract nouns. For example, “decide” becomes “decision”, and “happy” becomes “happiness”. While they can condense complex ideas into single words, nominalisations can also make sentences more passive and wordy. They obscure clarity and diminish impact. Academics love them. Songs don’t. Here are some more examples so you know what to watch out for:

Undead: “The completion of the project was achieved by her”.

Rating: This sentences is clear but passive and lacks energy.

Revived: “She completed the project”.

Undead: “His songwriting had an urgency that captured the audience.”

Rating: Effective in conveying a sense, but slightly awkward.

Revived: “His urgent songwriting captivated the audience.”

Undead: “The concert had a vibrancy that energised the crowd.”

Rating: The sentence is evocative, but the nominalisation dilutes its impact.

Revived: “The vibrant concert energised the crowd.”

• Eliminate nominalisations, turning them back into verbs or adjectives.

The Power of Short Sentences

It’s particularly important when writing lyrics first, to deliver impact with brevity. Like the flash of a camera in a dark room, they illuminate a scene vividly for a brief moment, capturing every detail in sharp relief. They cut through the narrative, highlighting key moments with stark clarity against the backdrop of longer sentences. This sudden illumination grabsthe listener’s attention, focusing it on the essential elements.

For instance, consider the difference in impact:

Long: “As the sun began to set, casting a golden hue over the vity, he realised with a deep sense of foreboding that time was running out, and he needed to make a decision.”

Short: “The sun set. Time was running out. He had to decide.”

In the long version, the description sets a scene but dilutes the sense of urgency. The short sentences in the second version, however, immediately convey a sense of immpending doom and the need for swift action. The short, choppy structure mirrors the character’s racing thoughts and the ticking clock.

Another example:

Long: “In the quiet of the night, with the stars twinkling above, she felt a profound sense of peace washing over her, as if all her worries were insignificant in the grand scheme of things.”

Short: “Night fell. Stars twinkled. She found peace.”

Here, the short sentences create a rhythm that echoes the tranquility of the scene. Each sentence is a brushstroke painting a serene night, effectively conveying a sense of calm and insignificance against the vast universe.

In your writing:

• Look for opportunities to use short sentences for impact.
• Variety is key. Not all your lines must be short. Throw a few in the mix. When you go to write the melody and music, you’ll have a few natural moments of rhythmic change to keep your listeners engaged.
• Alternatively, save your short lines for a particular song section, e.g. pre-chorus.

Expand Cinematically

• Use more Scene-writing to expand your work into all sections.
• Keep the voice active and imagery vivid.
• Repeat all the checks above on your new sections.

Put Your Lyrics to Music

• Experiment with different melodies and chord progressions to fit the urgency of your lyrics.

Finish your song!

I hope you enjoy this exercise 🤗

The foundation for this challenge

The book I’m basing this challenge on is Ra Wilson’s book, Write 47 Songs. If you haven’t heard of it yet, I highly recommend you get it. As the name says, the book gives you 47 exercises that serve as a practical roadmap for your artist development through implementation and self-exploration. So it’s a highly practical guide for artists who are just starting out in their songwriting journey, and it’s packed with exercises that are designed to help you put in the practice and level up in all the ways I mentioned before – from your lyric writing to your musical understanding, to developing yourself as an artist in terms of your sound and your artistic voice. All of that through implementation. Because it’s what you DO that counts. When you learn to play an instrument for example, you go to lessons and you spend most of the time DOING. Songwriting should be no different.

Are you new to this challenge? Watch the intro video here!

Wanna join alongside a group of artists?

If you’ve ever made a purchase with us (like joined any of our bootcamps, or got Ra’s book) you also get access to our free WhatsApp community where our artists hang out and support each other. There you can share what you make within a safe space and listen to what others share as well. This will make it way more fun and really help you with accountability.

If you decide to get the book (or you’ve already joined a bootcamp with us), be sure to send me an email so I can give you access to the community! My email address is sonj@artistspringboard.com

Have fun writing your SONG 7! 🤗❤️

I’ll see you next week for SONG 8,

Sonj